Willem Alberts confronts a Bok lineout coach who challenges his conventional assumptions about the role of a loose forward. The moment, captured beautifully on Wynand Olivier’s iPhone, is fraught with dramatic suspense and/or erotic tension.
It’s getting to be about that time of the year when the pundits start talking about possible Bok combinations for the Test season. So it’s only fitting that the Big Daddy Rugby site sours the whole vibe by offering up its opinion. I have seen enough of the Super 15 to start penciling in my new Bok loose forward trio for the World Cup. And two of the incumbents have got to go.
I am tired of watching Pierre Spies look impressive in the prematch build up only to fade away the moment the whistle blows for kick off. Yes, I acknowledge Spies could probably get into the team on looks alone – he has the body of a marble statue, but unfortunately for him, he also has the same work rate. I think the eye-candy for the ladies needs to take a break from the Bok team until he increases his work rate. As for Ryan Kankowski, while it was memorable having David Hasselhoff in the team in order to win that “ironic 80s” credibility battle with our Aussie friends from across the Indian Ocean, he too has a tendency to disappear as soon as the game turns into a good old fashioned slugfest.
As for the last position in the trio, Schalk “Krazy Eyez Killa” Burger is untouchable. Burger was penned in many years ago on my secretly immortal list, meaning he is immune from all criticism. I simply will not suffer criticism of him. So who to replace the Hoff and Spies?
How about the multi-ton Mack Truck from the Sharks known to his parents as Willem Alberts? This guy was a virtual one man recking ball on the northern hemisphere tour last year. Unlike Spies this guy still has a few indentations on him from where he trampled over would be tacklers. Put a starting Bok jersey on this fellow and watch the Kiwis bounce off him come the World Cup.
With Burger and Alberts to inflict the physical damage, Heinrich “Lobster Boy” Brussow would be my perfect foil to round out this “world of pain” combination. Last weekend against the Waratahs saw Lobster Boy back in top form after a long injury layoff. It was poetry watching him poaching possession and making steals with Richie McCaw-like awesomeness.
I am calling it early: a loose forward trio of Burger, Brussow and Alberts is the stuff of Bok fantasies.