Lions take first bite in Oz….literally

The British and Irish Lions tour in Australia has started on high with a mauling of the Western Force in Perth on Wednesday.

Acting captain Brian O’Driscoll led from the front by scoring two of the tries, having linked-up well with fellow centre Manu ‘Ferry-jumper’ Tuilagi.

The Lions looked hungry throughout the course of the match, and in particular Irish prop Cian Healy who in the 17th minute couldn’t hold-out for half-time snacks any longer by taking a bite of scrum-half Brett Sheeran’s arm.

Having only served to whet his appetite, he eventually had to fake an injury in order to get something more substantial and less hairy off the field of play.

Apparently head Lion’s coach Warren Gatland is now rethinking his strategy of starving his players for 2 days pior to each match.

Would sir care for brown or red sauce with his arm?

Would sir care for brown or red sauce with his arm?

Wales bring in the big guns for All Black clash

An under-performing Welsh team have welcomed back Warren Gatland with open arms this week as he seeks to plot a miraculous victory against his home nation.

Gatland has taken a back seat over the last few months with disastrous consequences for the Welsh team, who are slipping down the IRB world rankings faster than Richie McCaw can undo a cheerleader’s brassiere*.

Apparently Gatland’s tactics to counter the formidable Kiwi attack this weekend include slowing the ball at the breakdown, tactical kicking and the use of heavy artillery by arming  full-back Leigh Halfpenny with a 6-barrel Gatling gun.

Currently this stands at 3.4 seconds…with one hand.

If this won’t stop the All Blacks, nothing will.