The Rassie Erasmus rumours

Yip – it is true.  Rassie Erasmus has left the Western Province building and is off to presumably greener pastures than the 70-inspired cement decor of the Newlands back offices.  Interestingly enough, he hasn’t said where he is going.  As a man with a family, it is unlikely he is just “winging it”.  He’s got a plan in place.  So why is he keeping mum about it?

Here are latest theories doing the rounds as to what his career holds for him after Western Province:

  • The bok coaching job is in the bag. He is trying to do the right thing by Western Province by letting them know to start looking for a new Director sooner rather than later.
  • A coaching stint in France with Biarritz. He’s trading in the funny money in his Saffer wallet for that nice steady smell of the freshly printed Euro and talk of Eurozone fiscal policy rather than Malema and the colour of your wings’ skin.
  • Lil’ Rassie (as his family calls him) was given an iPhone this Christmas and he’s not looking back.  After making a little amusing movie involving his Jack Russell wearing a silly hat and sunglasses, Rassie decided rugby coaching was just not his passion anymore.  He will be off to Paris first to immerse himself in French theatre before he searches the depths of German Existentialist drama.  Young Rassie, cap in hand, iPhone in pocket and recently downloaded iPhone Movie Maker app has big dreams, little ears and a plan to rock the indie cinema world.
  • After a few heated discussions with Alistair Coetzee in the Stormers pre-season camp it became obvious that one of them was going to have to go.  Coetzee is holding Erasmus back from pursuing his dancing talent as was made oh so clear at the staff party at Forries pub.
  • Rassie has been working on a script and is off to Hollywood to float it. It involves two Americans, one a former cop who left the service under disgrace, the other a beautiful scientist, in a race against time to uncover massive corruption at the European Union Statistics Office and the manner in which they report debt to GDP ratios.