The All Blacks’ tail-between-legs thrashing of the Pumas this weekend may not have come as a big surprise to many, but revelations that replacement fly-half Aaron Cruden was abducted by extra-terrestrials during the match has raised a few eyebrows.
Despite there having been reports of other-worldly lights on the field towards the end of the match, many believed this to be a bizarre anomaly caused by the floodlights reflecting off Richie McCaw’s pearly-white teeth. Another explanation being offered is the possibility of refracted beams of sunshine, which have been known to occasionally shine out of Dan Carter’s arsehole.
However it was only following the completion of the match that a clearly shaken Cruden revealed that he’d been targeted by lasers in the lead-up to taking a conversion kick, and stranger still, that he’d been beamed aboard a UFO and probed about All Black tactical domination and the ritualistic meanings behind the Haka.
Cruden, who has no known history of substance misuse, also went on to claim that Ma’a Nonu is in fact an extra terrestrial from a planetary system roughly located within the Andromeda spiral galaxy.