There seems to be quite a few stories doing the rounds in the media lately about rugby players misbehaving off the field.
It’s all fairly tame stuff when compared to the exploits of their counterparts in League and AFL, but a number of our “rugby union bad boys” are repeat offenders and are most likely skating on very thin ice, meaning that they could soon find themselves without a rugby playing job, in which case I have a suggestion…
Band together oh you wayward souls! Quite literally band together. Give us Rugby Unions’ very first “Boy Band”.
Don’t think it’ll work? Well how’s this for a killer, all singing, all dancing, hysteria-inducing line-up…
Danny “Dazzler” Cipriani
The “Cute & cuddly” one. Not quite an expert at anything, but he looks good and the ladies love him, so he’s in.
The Cute & Cuddly one
Gavin “Strangely brown” Henson
The “aloof and moody” one. Terrible with communication and a bit of a loner. Prefers to express himself through the medium of dance. He’ll do just fine.
The Moody & Aloof one
Pedrie “Postal” Wannenburg
Older and not as pretty as the others so we’ll give him some fake dreadlocks and some stick on tatoos and all of a sudden he’s the “edgy / alternative” one. Welcome aboard!
The Alternative / Edgy one
Andy “Just a couple of sherbets” Powell
The “Cheeky chappy”. The loveable bad boy. Mums and housewives will love him. Men will want to be him. Or slap him. An obvious choice.
The Cheeky Chappy
Quade “Mini” Cooper
The unofficial leader and “brains” of the group. Will choreograph all the moves himself. Most likely to quit at some stage to go solo. Simply, a must have.
Band name? I’m thinking “Age of Consent” would do quite nicely. Either that or “Quick Ball“.
To get things moving here’s a few song titles that the boys could use:
1. Crouch, touch, pause, engage! (All night long)
2. Straight into touch (I don’t wanna wait no more)
3. Heel against the head (Push a lil’ harder!)
See? It’s as simple as that.
When it comes to the Management side of things I’m pretty sure that there’ll be a few coaches looking for work after the World Cup, so who knows, maybe Graham Henry will be interested in a change of scenery after the Kiwis get knocked out in the Semis?