Heyneke Meyer has the “Morne Steyn” disease

Looks like Heyneke Meyer has succumbed to the Bok coach disease of irrational loyalty to players.  This week on the interview circuit all was revealed on the DSTV tragicomedy referred to as Boots ‘n All.

As the only guest in studio not willing to kiss anyone in a bok blazer’s ass and in his “speaking truth to power” mode, Nick Mallet called out Heyneke on the continued selection of Morne Steyn at flyhalf  despite his lack of form.  Morne is in the team to kick goals, since he doesn’t exactly give you anything else.  And he isn’t exactly kicking goals is he?

Hearing Heyneke defend his selection was painful.  He mumbled something about Morne’s form not actually being that bad and that if you switched to Afrikaans commentary during the game he actually plays quite well.

This kind of irrational disease seems to overcome South African’s in positions of power.  It also has its counter in the insane refusal to pick a player who is clearly better than “coach’s favourite”.   Is the Heyneke Meyer – Morne Steyn clouded thinking going to be up there amongst the following:

  • John “Colonel Gadaffi” Smit’s stranglehold over the De Villiers coaching tenure.
  • Jake White and “the fetcher” debacle, circa 2004, 2005 and 2006.
  • Tiaan Strauss  not being selected against the touring Kiwis in post-isolation South Africa.
  • The ANC insisting that Julius Malema “wasn’t a complete shit”, at least until he turned his idiot hose onto Jacob Zuma that is.
  • Nick Mallet and the Gary Teichmann.
  • Bryan Habana and all of his coaches during 2008 to 2011.
  • Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn not beating the shit out of Jar Jar Binks in every scene in which they appear together.

Perhaps Pat Lambie needs to start showing up to coaching sessions wearing his Morne Steyn mask.  Is that what it is going to take?  Or a miracle cure for Johan Goosen?

Morne Steyn looking pretty confident now that he has that compromising photo of Heyneke Meyer with his “Sex in the City” box set.

Mehhhh… A decent Bok team would have put 40 on those Kiwis

Other than Heinrich Brussow’s heroic efforts and Jacque Fourie’s Houdini escape acts on Saturday, I thought the Boks as a whole were pretty disappointing.  Sure – I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth and I’ll always be glad to take a Bok victory over the men in black.  Even if it is just to see the look of disappointment on the Kiwi fans “who flew all the way from Auckland” in the words of Bob Skinstad.  Hell… if I could overhear the conversations on the VW minibus drive back to suburbs of Port Elizabeth checking in at the airport and during the flight back to New Zealand… A win is a win and all that, but how come this Bok team never really goes for the kill when blood is in the water?

We had the All Blacks in trouble at 15-0 in the first half.  With a three score lead and a dominant scrum we should have put our boots on the Kiwi’s throats and stomped down hard… not letting them come up for air.  So what do we do? Other more reputable websites (you know who they are) described the Bok performance as clinical. If those professional journalists had put down their tik pipes for a few moments to watch the game, they have noticed that instead of being clinical, we were treated to the sight of Morne Steyn aimless kicks upfield that dares a dangerous Kiwi back three to run back at a Bok defence that is out of alignment. The Boks allowed them to make 23 line breaks (admittedly that stat comes from “Mr Personality” Graham Henry himself).  The Boks allowed them back into the game with a try in the shadows of half time.  In short the Boks let them make the score line respectable. A better Bok team would have strangled this poor Kiwi side into submission – then dragged them all over the field with rolling maul after rolling maul, followed by Bakkies rubbing mayonnaise and All Gold into the hair of the pretend flyhalf Colin Slade.

Our first game in the World Cup is against a Welsh team that is not only sporting new hairdos and rather sensual outfits, but also sporting renewed confidence after a win over England.  I’ve not seen anything in this Tri-Nations that fills me with confidence about winning the World Cup.  Let’s hope I’m wrong, but I’ve got a horrible feeling that in between Bok players kicking each other in the head accidentally, the bright spots in this World Cup are going to be few and far between.  Has someone started the countdown clock on PdV’s tenure yet?

It was a long flight back to Auckland for these "loyal" All Black supporters. Somebody might need to call Child Protection Services to look after that youngster in the top right corner - picture from Pretoria News.