New Zealand vs France: Final Preview: Au revoir Marc!

Regardless of what you think of the French teams’ displays at this World Cup you’d be lying if you said Lievremonts’ presence didn’t add a little “joie de vivre” to the whole affair.

From a pure entertainment level we’re happy to give Marc a solid 8/10 for his efforts. In fact, for a coach who was informed that he would be out of a job before the tournament even began, we here at Big Daddy Rugby reckon that Marc has acted with considerable restraint and shown great courage in what must have been a rather testing time for him.

Bravo Monsieur! Bravo indeed!

With regards to a preview for “Le Big Game”, well I have it on good authority that Marc will be dressing appropriately for the occasion.

Here’s an exclusive sneak peak of his look for Sunday…

Marc Lievremont: ne regarde mes fesses grand en cela?

ALLEZ LES BLEUS!!!

Wales vs France Semi Final Preview

I really want Wales to win the whole damn thing now…but ever since Lievremont started sporting his fabulous ‘tache I’m finding myself rather confused…and now he’s gone and shaved his head! Merde Marc, merde!

I shudder to think what he’s got in store for us if France reach the final…

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

 Wales by 10.

Why it’s always safe to write off France: England v France QF preview

Marc Lièvremont

No one to share a beer with... Lievremont picked up an expensive tab this weekend. Image via Wikipedia

The French rugby team is in complete disarray ahead of their quarterfinal showdown with the English.  “That’s so French…” we can all say to ourselves as we pour over the latest accounts of squad mutinies, broken down relationships and absurdist outbursts – but nothing quite sums it up the state of titsupness in the French camp like hearing the coach Marc Lievremont tear into his own players after their loss to Tonga:

“I thought I had experienced everything in terms of shame. But this time round, it’s been an extremely violent feeling again. Each missed pass, each missed tackle, I took them as a deep personal failure.”

“We live in a society where image matters,” Lievremont said. “I saw players with their agent on the eve and after the game instead of regrouping as a team”.

“I believe in the men, in a group who hopefully know how to pick themselves up,” he said. “I have got experienced and talented players. But maybe not as talented as I thought.

Nice one.  That’s classy Marc.  About as classy as a South African government employee handling a visa application from the Dalai Lama.  Yip, and further confirming Lièvremont status as a first class plank, he managed to channel his inner Rudolf Straueli when he suggested his solution for getting his team back on track to win the World Cup.  His idea? For the players to have a piss up, presumably followed by some sort of intimate bonding at a cross-dressing Japanese karaoke bar (because that’s how those kinds of evenings usually end):

“I’ve never been against sharing a few beers together, in order to get things out in the open, and that’s a possible option for us.”

Unfortunately for Lièvremont his hoped for post match bonding session didn’t materialise – it turns out his own players don’t like him much. The players took their beers and simply buggered off:

“I would have preferred it if we had shared a glass, spoken about it and just agreed that it is still a fine adventure,” he said.

Oh well. So much for that theory.  I would have loved to have seen CCTV footage of Lièvremont signing the credit card slip at the end of the night – having to pay for all the booze and no-one around to share the moment with him.

Speaking of CCTV footage, the English preparation is not a heck of a lot better.  Between dwarf-tossing, sexually harrassing waitresses and switching rugby balls (in other words a typical on week on tour with the English squad) there is much talk of the wheels coming off of English rugby.

The match is lining up to a clash of playing styles.  Wilkinson’s boot and versus French flair.  The English forwards rumble versus the French backs unpredictability.

So where should you be putting your money this weekend?  Well… if there is one thing I have learned from watching years of World Cup Rugby it is that you can safely and reliably write the French off.  If they have absolutely noooo chance of winning – you can bank on that.  In fact, I’d go so far to say that the French are so predictable, you can put your money down against them, not even bother to watch the game and head straight to your local bookie to collect your winnings.

France have neeeeeverrrrrrrrr surprised anybody…