Tuilagi strikes again…

It seems no one is safe from the antics of Manu ‘Ferry jumper’ Tuilagi… including the Great British Prime Minister!

Tuilagi’s general pissing into the wind attitude towards life was further demonstrated at a recent photo op at Downing Street, at which he couldn’t resist from doing the old ‘bunny ears’ prank behind the PM’s head.

In keeping with the general tomfoolery and rakish behaviour of his Eton school days, Cameron’s response was to give Tuilagi a wet-willy and wedgie combo.

Boom! THAT’s what you get for messing with the British Government…President Assad take note!

Hee hee....I also peed on your carpet!

Hee hee….I also peed on your carpet!

Lions take first bite in Oz….literally

The British and Irish Lions tour in Australia has started on high with a mauling of the Western Force in Perth on Wednesday.

Acting captain Brian O’Driscoll led from the front by scoring two of the tries, having linked-up well with fellow centre Manu ‘Ferry-jumper’ Tuilagi.

The Lions looked hungry throughout the course of the match, and in particular Irish prop Cian Healy who in the 17th minute couldn’t hold-out for half-time snacks any longer by taking a bite of scrum-half Brett Sheeran’s arm.

Having only served to whet his appetite, he eventually had to fake an injury in order to get something more substantial and less hairy off the field of play.

Apparently head Lion’s coach Warren Gatland is now rethinking his strategy of starving his players for 2 days pior to each match.

Would sir care for brown or red sauce with his arm?

Would sir care for brown or red sauce with his arm?

All Blacks, Sprinboks and Scotland (…yes Scotland!) all going for clean sweeps

All three teams will be hoping to end their June international tests on a high by inflicting another defeat on their respective opponents this weekend.

Scotland have been the real surprise package, having won all their matches on tour so far and with only the Samoans left to potentially spoil the party.

The All Blacks will be hoping to avoid another close-call against the plucky Irish, and the Springboks will be relishing the opportunity to send the English home with their tales between their legs.

Bring it on… is all I got to say.

“Place face here”….Manu Tuilagi demonstrates his favourite new party trick.

It’s in the centre, Mr Venter…

There’s some mouth-watering international rugby on the cards this weekend with 3 big North vs South clashes…and if I’m gonna take this Civil War analogy to the next level (which I am) I reckon the exciting match-ups are going to be in the rear guard cavalry department – in other words in the centre Mr Venter (to nick the catch-phrase from an old SA tv ad from yesteryear)!

Here are the head-to-heads I’m looking forward to the most:

Game: Ireland v NZ

Match-up: Brian O’Driscoll v Sonny-Bill Williams

Who’s gonna come up trumps?

The old war-horse back to captain the side from his R&R in the stables versus the young ‘everbody likes to say his name’ filly who’s normally used as an impact player. It’s a tough one to call but I’m gonna go with experience over physical perfection on this one – as I reckon the old dog still has a few tricks up his sleeve!

Brian O'Driscoll

“Worried…who’s worried?!”

Game: Wales v Australia

Match-up: Sam Warburton v David Pocock

Who’s gonna come up trumps?

Who doesn’t like a good old battle of the generals (remember Robert E. Lee vs Ulysses S. Grant?!), especially between two teams with the recent history that these two have. I’m gonna go with Pocock on this, somewhat based on form but mostly because I don’t want to seem biased towards the Northern Hemisphere.

The Wallaby captain takes his defence seriously…maybe a bit too seriously.

Game: South Africa v England

Match-up: Jean De Villiers v Manu Tuilagi

Who’s gonna come up trumps?

The Springbok captain will want to do the new coach proud, so he’ll be adding a few extra highlights to his hair and more importantly he’ll be all over Tuilagi like stink on sh*t. Assuming Tuilagi doesn’t jump ship and get sent-off for silly tackles, he may give the Springbok backs a run for their money – but I still reckon De Villiers will nail him.

De Villiers gratefully accepts another hospital pass from Steyn.

Tuilagi ferry jump…the catalogue of shame continues

Anyone following England’s world cup campaign could easily be forgiven for mistaking it with the most recent series of Big Brother.

What with the drunken tomfoolery, cheap pick-up lines, cavorting with local blonde floozies and even a bit of ball switching for good measure. Let’s not even get into the dwarf-tossing escapade!

Now that the team’s campaign has come to an end, the English tabloids are going to have to look elsewhere for their ingenious headlines. Well not just yet…as Manu Tuilagi has come to the rescue and shown the world he’s no fish out of water with a daring ferry jump in Auckland harbour.

Hooray! That’s the spirit Manu! You may be out of the World Cup but you can still ferry jump with the best of them! Go down fighting like a true British bulldog and give the great English public something to cheer about – even if it does get you fined £3000 and a nasty icecream headache.

Oh well…it’s just £3000 less you’ll have to spend at Spearmint Rhino when you get back to Blighty!

Manu earns his stripes (Image courtesy of Mail Online)