Courtesy of the Sports Bible on Facebook… the most embarrassing haka ever… Crikey, if you ever want to NOT be intimidated by the All Blacks, just fired up this baby on your iPhone before kickoff, and you’ll be good to go.
Haka like the whole world is watching.
Is this the best haka of all time? It has everything… obscure location, simultaneous performances, confrontations, bad haircuts, mullets, condoning commentary… It starts off slow, but ends with a brawl. Could want anything more?
We hate stereotypes here at Big Daddy Rugby.
For one thing, we’re a rugby blog that doesn’t have much to say about rugby – though does have an awful lot to say about facial hair and the various developmental stages of Gavin Henson’s spray tan.
But just every once in a while a stereotype sneaks up on you and slaps you on the ass like a Lycra-clad Gareth Thomas on poppers.
That’s why if you ever needed proof that white folk have no rhythm, just take a look at this Haka from way back in 1973.
It’s like a bunch of awkward fathers dancing to Status Quo at the local community centre disco while their kids try to bury their heads in the cement floor out of sheer embarrassment.
If Boks coach Peter (till the bitter end) de Villiers thinks the Haka has lost some of it’s potency then he obviously hasn’t seen this clip. Not too surprising when you consider tv was only introduced to South Africa in 1976 and that three years before that young Peter was hanging-out at the local shebeen getting pissed on homebrew.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0xn7RWcwVw&feature=player_embedded]
Bok coach Peter de Villiers caused a bit of a stir this week by suggesting that the Haka was losing its respect due to its being performed too often.
Well, the Kiwis have no need to worry as here’s BDR’s guide to other potential pre-match challenges that could be just as effective.
The Macarena
Everybody’s favourite Latin dance sensation that allowed even geeks a chance to look good on the dance-floor.
Pros: Optional maracas could be a nice touch (we’re looking at you Sonny Bill!)
Cons: Opposing team are likely to join in, which would just get plain awkward
The Hokey-Pokey (Cokey)
Old school participation song-cum-dance that set the benchmark for others to follow.
Pros: So easy (the words are the moves) that even the most uncoordinated can do it…Colin ‘butter fingers’ Slade take note!
Cons: The ‘shake it all about’ section may not set the right tone for the match
The Time Warp
The indie S&M version of the Hokey Pokey featured in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Pros: More edgy than the others, but just as addictive and the All-Black kit fits the mood perfectly
Cons: Tricky to sing and perform with some high vocal register parts – so lots of warm-up required
Y.M.C.A
Who doesn’t know the Y.M.C.A? The ultimate party dance made famous by the sports bar-loving Village People.
Pros: The element of surprise and a good excuse to be more adventurous with facial hair
Cons: Too many to mention
So there you have it…something for Graham Henry’s successor to mull over.
If BDR readers have any of their own suggestions please feel free to try these out in the privacy of your own home.
The World Cup is an opportunity to see that rare treasure in rugby union – the double haka. Here’s a clip of Tonga facing off against New Zealand with both teams performing simultaneous hakas. If this is a sneak peek of what we’re going to be able to witness tomorrow, then I’m officially ready for the World Cup!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOWy1vHrpxo?rel=0&w=420&h=345]
If only the Scots could show this level of flair when playing the actual game…
They’d be world beaters I tell you!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pi6BtYXD1w&feature=related]