The world’s least intimidating haka

Courtesy of the Sports Bible on Facebook… the most embarrassing haka ever… Crikey, if you ever want to NOT be intimidated by the All Blacks, just fired up this baby on your iPhone before kickoff, and you’ll be good to go.

Haka like the whole world is watching.

White men can’t Haka…

We hate stereotypes here at Big Daddy Rugby.

For one thing, we’re a rugby blog that doesn’t have much to say about rugby – though does have an awful lot to say about facial hair and the various developmental stages of Gavin Henson’s spray tan.

But just every once in a while a stereotype sneaks up on you and slaps you on the ass like a Lycra-clad Gareth Thomas on poppers.

That’s why if you ever needed proof that white folk have no rhythm, just take a look at this Haka from way back in 1973.

It’s like a bunch of awkward fathers dancing to Status Quo at the local community centre disco while their kids try to bury their heads in the cement floor out of sheer embarrassment.

If  Boks coach Peter (till the bitter end) de Villiers thinks the Haka has lost some of  it’s potency then he obviously hasn’t seen this clip. Not too surprising when you consider tv was only introduced to South Africa in 1976 and that three years before that young Peter was hanging-out at the local shebeen getting pissed on homebrew.


Big Daddy’s guide to a replacement Haka

Bok coach Peter de Villiers caused a bit of a stir this week by suggesting that the Haka was losing its respect due to its being performed too often.

Well, the Kiwis have no need to worry as here’s BDR’s guide to other potential pre-match challenges that could be just as effective.

The Macarena

Everybody’s favourite Latin dance sensation that allowed even geeks a chance to look good on the dance-floor.

Pros: Optional maracas could be a nice touch (we’re looking at you Sonny Bill!)

Cons: Opposing team are likely to join in, which would just get plain awkward

The Hokey-Pokey (Cokey)

Old school participation song-cum-dance that set the benchmark for others to follow.

Pros: So easy (the words are the moves) that even the most uncoordinated can do it…Colin ‘butter fingers’  Slade take note!

Cons: The ‘shake it all about’ section may not set the right tone for the match

The Time Warp

The indie S&M version of the Hokey Pokey featured in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.


Pros: More edgy than the others, but just as addictive and the All-Black kit fits the mood perfectly

Cons: Tricky to sing and perform with some high vocal register parts – so lots of warm-up required


Who doesn’t know the Y.M.C.A? The ultimate party dance made famous by the sports bar-loving Village People.

Pros: The element of surprise and a good excuse to be more adventurous with facial hair

Cons: Too many to mention

So there you have it…something for Graham Henry’s successor to mull over.

If BDR readers have any of their own suggestions  please feel free to try these out in the privacy of your own home.

World Cup preview: The rarely seen double haka!

The World Cup is an opportunity to see that rare treasure in rugby union – the double haka.  Here’s a clip of Tonga facing off against New Zealand with both teams performing simultaneous hakas.  If this is a sneak peek of what we’re going to be able to witness tomorrow, then I’m officially ready for the World Cup!