It’s that time of the tournament when the stories are running thin and BDR turns to cheap gimmicks to keep our immense traffic volumes up. In the spirit of commercialism and with no tip of the hat to our own journalistic integrity we present the World Cup Rugby Drinking Game 2011 edition:
The rules are very simple: Take a sip every time one of the common ‘take a sip” events happens in the game, take a chug when one of the unlikely “chug” actions occurs. Keep yourself armed at all times with a six-pack of beer, some hard tack and a few pink drinks. Girls, guys and people of all persuasions are welcome.
- Take a sip if the one of the Pacific Island teams (Tonga, Fiji, Samoa) hits an opposition player, late, high and without the ball
- Chug if the aforementioned late hit is actually criticised by a New Zealand commentator as foul play.
- Sip every time you think it is possible, that this time – just this once, one of the minnows is actually going to beat one of the fancied team.
- Chug if you called it on Superbru.
- Sip every time a Bok player mentions Jesus in a post match interview.
- Chug if the same player doesn’t have a track record of being one of the dirtiest players in the game.
- Take a sip if you switch to Xhosa commentary because you’re afraid of hearing Bobby Skinstad mispronounce the word “Bok”. It’s only three letters Bobby… how can you get it wrong?
- Take a sip every time you’re confused as to whether the Supersport “kick-off time” refers to the actual kick off time or the time that the pre-match drivel begins in studio.
- Sip for the closeup of the hottie in the stands.
- Chug if her boyfriend/husband isn’t as ugly as a lorry.
- Sip if you are more concerned with what is being said on Twitter about the game than the game itself.
- Take a sip every time Bryce Lawrence overlooks a ruck infringement.
- Chug if Richie McCaw is pinged for hands in the ruck.
- Sip if a prop forward is passed the ball at first receiver and ignores the three man overlap on his outside by clattering straight back into the ruck.
- Sip if the highlight of your Saturday consisted of watching Currie Cup rugby after the big match and convincing yourself that the future of SA rugby is golden, if only they’d get selection right – and the coach of course.
- Take a sip each time one of the Supersport studio guests’ insight into the game consists of discussing “who wants it the most”.
- Take a sip if you saw too much of the moon when the Maori blew that trumpet thingy before kick-off.
- Sip every time you see an offensive sign or banner “disguised” by being written in Afrikaans.
- Sip if Quade Cooper flubs a kick at goal, chip, up and under or reverse pass.
- Chug if Jannie Du Plessis somehow doesn’t have gel in his hair.
- Sip if Habana is introduced as being “due for a return to form”.
- Sip if you consider changing your hairstyle or growing facial hair after the pre-match close-ups of the French backline.
- Sip every time an Argentinian shrugs off an injury by simply pouring water on it and hobbling back to the next ruck.
- Sip if a politician suddenly makes an appearance as a “true fan” just as his or her team makes the World Cup final.
- Sip every time the French players rebel against their coach.
- Sip if an England player sexually harasses a local or throws a dwarf.
- Chug if you find yourself agreeing with Peter de Villiers.
With weekend 18(!) of this year’s Super 15 approaching, we thought it was time to update the Big Daddy Rugby drinking game, with a special “Super 15 final week of the group stages” edition. If you’re planning on catching a case of the swine flu from the tip of an Amstel glass tomorrow and making it a four day weekend, you can start this one early. Remember to line up your drinks before kickoff and to take a swig each time on of the following happens:
- Hugh Bladen gets the score wrong during the broadcast (double down if this is a crucial error like pointing out that they don’t have a bonus point yet, when in fact they do)
- Butch James get a yellow for high tackle (it brings a tear to my eye to be able to bring this little gem back into our drinking game)
- You find yourself strangely attracted to Mark Lawrence
- Arnold Geerdts’ abnormally orange glow forces you to adjust the contrast on your tv or to put on sunglasses
- Bryan Habana fumbles an up and under (but talks a good game about how he has rediscovered his pace)
- Brok Harris cocks up a backline move by being at first receiver instead of clearing the ruck
- A Bulls substitute runs onto the park sporting a mullet that would make even Quade Cooper cringe
- Stewie Dickenson penalises a non-Aussie team on a 50/50 call
- Bizmark throws the “one-incher” at the bottom of a ruck
- Conrad Jantjies shanks a clearance with a kick that resembles a tee-off on the first at Royal Cape’s “open to the public” day.
- Saffer player does a little “eye-gouging” during the game before thanking the Lord in the post-match interview
- Wynand “Keeley Hazell” Olivier impersonates a human cannonball by running straight into the crashball instead of noticing the three man overlap on his outside
- Supersport commentators are wearing the exact same outfits as though they are 10-year old boarders on their first day out
- Eyeing out that brunette Sharks girl hottie pre-match was as good as it got for your rugby watching weekend
All in all, enjoy the festivities this weekend boys and girls. We have to take those guaranteed South African victories when they’re up for grabs.
For followers of South African rugby looking for an excuse to combine pub drinking with the usual Saturday viewing – take a swig every time one of the following happens during a broadcast:
- Hugh Bladen or Andy Capastagno mentions the high school of the player who just scored a try (double down if the school is NOT in the Boland)
- There is a “family inappropriate” close up of a Stormers girl/woman in the crowd
- Deon “walking yellow” Stegman gets sin-binned
- Bobby Skinstad mispronounces “Bokke” or says “paddock” (double down)
- A knock on is attributed to “taking one’s eyes off the ball”
- Jean De Villiers cramps up in the 70th minute (double down if it’s an injury preventing him from being able to compete at the World Cup)
- Mark Lawrence is sporting a new 3 day stubble look
- Naas Botha hedges his bets in studio before the big game by saying that the Boks could win, but also could lose – depending on how they play
- The entire Supersport pre-test match analysis consists of talking about “who wants it more”
- Kobus Wiese impersonates a bobble-head action figure during the “let’s cross over to the field” pre-kickoff segment
- In the Lions/Cheetahs post game interview after another big loss, the phrases “on the right track” or “the hard work on the training ground will pay off soon” are used
- Man of the Match thanks Jesus (double down if the same player got a yellow during the game for dirty play)
- Bismark throws handbags
- Hugh Bladen refers to the Loftus crowd as “knowledgable” (double down if this is during the crowd booing a test match legend)