Dan Parks sent shockwaves through Scotland yesterday having announced that he was retiring from test rugby with immediate effect.
Street parties spontaneously erupted in some the nation’s bigger towns and cities, however there were those that came to the defence of the fly-half (despite his poor showing in the Calcutta Cup match on Saturday), with First Minister Alex Salmond reportedly having been put off his mutton stew dinner – deciding instead on a light snack of deep-fried Mars Bars and a plate of dropped scones.
Scotland coach Andy Robinson was quick to reject rumours that the suddenness of Parks’ retirement had any links to the reports of a severed horse’s head having been discovered in his bed after returning home after Saturday’s match. At a recent press-conference Robinson said:
‘This horse’s head thing is really getting blown out of proportion…even if someone had put a horse’s head in Dan’s bed, that’s got nothing to do with his leaving the team – the Scottish Rugby Union in no way sanctions the placing of horse’s heads in players’ beds at any time.’
Parks was not available for comment and was said to be having a farewell piss-up with team-mates and close friends.