On the road with Chilli Boy: 3

My best "Pretending to be listening to Dick" face...

Hi gang,

Well firstly, sorry about Saturday’s game. 40-7 isn’t pretty, is it? And while we’re at it 33 missed tackles isn’t great either, right? Yeah, we know…but as Coach Div says, sh&t happens…

But do you really want to know what isn’t pretty? Do you want to know what’s 1000 times worse than 33 missed tackles? Do you??

How does having Crowded House playing 24 / 7 sound to you? I’m talking about Crowded House playing on every radio station, Crowded House playing in every restaurant, in our hotel lobby, in our hotel rooms, on every TV channel,  when I switch the bathroom lights on, when I flush the toilet, outside my window at night when I’m trying to fall asleep…everywhere you go in this country it’s FRICKIN’ CROWDED HOUSE !!!

I know the Kiwi’s love to moan about the whole “Susie” fiasco back in ’95, but this is really taking things to the next level. Honestly, a lot of the boys were really quite upset by it, so much so in fact that Dean Greyling almost didn’t take to the field on Saturday. He was badly shook up and only an impromptu acoustic performance of “Hier kom die Bokke” by Gary in the changing room minutes before kick-off managed to snap him out of his zombie like trance. (By the way, Gary also does a pretty mean version of “Toxic” by Britney, which is available for download at his myspace page www.thegoldenchild.myspace.com ). It’s not an excuse for our performance, but our fans back home have a right to know just how challenging it is to play rugby in New Zealand.

I’m not going to lie to you folks, it’s been a tough old tour, but on the plus side there have been a few valuable lessons learnt, for example:

  •  If John asks you at dinner whether you’re done with your chips, you say “Yes”.
  • Always allow the air to settle for a  full 15 minutes before using the bathroom after Flip.
  • Never take what Coach Div says literally.
  • Always have your headphones handy when it’s Dicks’ turn to speak.
  • Don’t allow Ruan to get started talking about his “European Awakening”. He’ll never shut up.
  • Don’t challenge Danie at SingStar or Wynand at Twister.
  • Don’t allow Ashley to borrow any hair products.
  • Don’t lock yourself out of your hotel room wearing only a pair of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles underpants.
  • And possibly the most important one of all, delete all Crowded House tracks from any portable music players immediately!

Well folks, it’s been a pleasure writing to you all over the last few weeks. We’re really excited about getting back home and catching up on what we’ve missed in Binnelanders. Apologies again for not being able to sneak a win on the road. We tried. Sort of.

Until next time,


On the road with Chilli Boy: 2

Aagh, sies man Flip!

Howdy folk…

Let’s not beat around the bush here shall we, Saturdays’ game was a complete and utter cock up on our behalf.

The boys were all totally gutted afterwards and the locker room was a pretty somber place to be, at least that was the case until Flip let rip with the biggest fart that I have ever heard in my life! It wasn’t intentional, I think it had something to do with all those supplements they make us take in the build up to a big game.
Anyways, whatever the cause was it certainly lightened the mood and soon everyone was laughing and joking around again. Even Coach Div and Dick got into the spirit of things by seeing who could make the best fart sounds with their mouths. They had us all in stitches we were laughing so hard! If there’s one thing that this coaching team has taught us it’s to not let a Test Match loss stop us from having a good time.

The post match function that night was held at a really fancy hotel overlooking the Sydney Harbour. I’ve known some of the Aussie boys for awhile now so I had a pretty good idea of how much booze would be available and thus prepared myself before hand by eating a loaf of bread.
Poor old Hargreaves wasn’t as smart as me and had a rather unfortunate “accident” in the gents, which actually I probably shouldn’t even be mentioning here. (Don’t worry Ally, I’m sure that stain will come right out).

It had been a long week and alot of the younger players were exhausted and so opted for bed straight after dinner. Those of us who still had a little energy left headed straight up to Wynand and Danies’ room for the traditional “Boks on tour” game of SingStar.
You might not believe it but Danie is pretty much untouchable when it comes to the game and has been the reigning Bok champ since SingStar “Take That” was released back in 2009. Although he’ll never admit to it his rendition of “Back for good” once brought Bakkies to tears. Yes, he’s that good.

Well readers, I think that’s about it  from me for now. All is well here in Wellington, if you discount the fact that we’re playing the All Blacks in a few days time. I’m sooo not looking forward to this one.

Until next time!


On the road with Chilli Boy

Greetings all from a cold and wet Sydney!

It’s a great feeling to be part of the Bok set up again and the boys are all really excited about Saturdays game. Although there’s a number of new faces in the squad everyone is getting on just fine, with tempers flaring only when a decision had to be made about who would share a room with Ashley. He’s a nice enough guy and all, but there’s something very upsetting about his hair. Plus, he doesn’t shut up about it either!
It’s a pity Kirchner’s not on tour as he could have made himself useful for once by bunking up with him and taking one for the team. Oh well…

We had a great practice session yesterday with a lot of intensity on display. Us forwards finished up a little earlier but I stayed on behind to watch the backs go through some of their training drills.
Dick really is an amazing backline coach. He’s come up with this crazy, fresh new move where the guys run forward in a straight line whilst passing the ball. It was pretty amazing to watch and there were a lot of high fives when they eventually pulled it off. Needless to say we were all on a massive high after that!

Everyone knows that one of the key elements of a successful tour is for the players to bond together as a group, so after dinner we usually have a team building excercise. Last night Gary suggested that we watch “Braveheart” in the hope that seeing each other weep would bind us together like nothing else. A couple of the guys weren’t so keen and suggested the Bruce Willis film “Armageddon” instead, but John refused as it was the film the team watched just before the World Cup final, and he likes to save it for “special occasions”.

Well, I think I better leave it at that for the moment. I’ve just heard that Wynand and Danie are having a game of Twister up in their room. Those guys rock!

Until next week!

Chilli Boy.