Ben Foden’s hair to be placed on New Year’s honours list

If England takes nothing else from Saturday’s defeat against the All Blacks, they can rest assured that they had better hair on the day.

One player in particular stood head and shoulders above the rest with a stirringly impressive display of follicle bravado ….Ben ‘Braveheart’ Foden.

Not only was his celebration of a disallowed try executed with commendable gusto, but he somehow managed to finish the match with zero, yes that’s right, ZERO split-ends!

We applaud you sir!

And I don’t use the title ‘sir’ lightly….as there’s talk about town that Ben’s hair is to be placed on the New Year’s honours list for services to humanity at large (but mostly the ladies).

Drink it in ladies and gents.

Drink it in ladies and gents.

England fullback not likely to holiday in Wales anytime soon

England player Ben Foden has been stoking the fire yet again ahead of the England v Wales showdown this Saturday.

The fullback has positioned himself right at the top of the ‘most hated man in Wales’ rankings by tipping England to take the 6 Nations title, despite their mediocre showing in the tournament so far.

This comes after his taunt prior to last year’s 6 Nations clash  in Cardiff when he said, ‘We are England, we are the big country, we are going to put these guys in their place.’

Clearly Ben didn’t get the memo that the days of the Empire are over. Last time I checked this was a rugby tournament, not a platform for invading someone else’s country to exploit their natural resources and claiming the right to sleep with their women.

Admittedly England went on to win that encounter (to be fair they probably did get some Welsh skirt too!), but the price Foden has had to pay since then is getting more hate mail than Michael Jackson’s prescription happy ex-doctor Colin Murray.

Wales will be looking to exact revenge for last year’s defeat – and if they do, they will be one step closer to the coveted Grand Slam as well as making Foden eat a big slice of humble pie along with his favourite chocolate protein shake.

Ben Foden gets a bit 'me' time