Sinister plot to abduct Pat Lambie uncovered

There are growing concerns surrounding Pat Lambie’s personal safety during the Bok’s visit to Ireland next week as part of their Northern Hemisphere tour.

The in-form Lambie, known for his boyish good looks and lack of facial hair, has apparently been singled out by entertainment mogul and X Factor judge Louis Walsh as an ideal candidate for his new boy-band concept Studs Aloud.

Walsh plans to create an all-male version of the hit-churning money-machine Girls Aloud, and believes ‘Lambrini’ (as he likes to call him) could successfully transfer his fleet-footed dancing skills from rugby field to pop stadium glory.

Sources have revealed that Walsh will lure the boy-wonder to his Dublin bachelor pad, where he intends to ply him with a concoction of beer shandies and humorously-shaped jello-shots in the hope of getting him to sign a ten-year contract in his own blood.

Despite languishing in a perpetual state of puberty, Lambie is said to not require the presence of a legal guardian when signing his life away.

Bok coach Heyneke Meyer is reportedly taking the claims very seriously, assigning a minder for the duration of the tour and equipping the youngster with an emergency whistle and prepaid phonecard in the event that he gets lost or seperated from the rest of the team.

Studs Aloud…coming to a bargain-bin basement sale near you soon!

citizenmike2000

One Comment

  1. I heard that during the last Australasian tour for the Sharks, John Plumtree had to give Lambie a “rape whistle” to keep on him at all times.

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