Things Heyneke Meyer believes

In light of Heyneke’s decision to defend his game plan against Argentina, we thought it appropriate to highlight some other controversial beliefs held by the current Bok coach.

  • When plan “A” isn’t working, you don’t need a plan “B”.  Do plan “A” again.  But this time try harder.
  • Players don’t need to run into space.  Ideally they should run straight at opposition players and collapse in a heap the moment anyone touches them.
  • The science on evolution isn’t “all in” yet.
  • It is not necessary to secure the ball at a break down.   One should pick players based on bicep measurements rather than ability on the floor.
  • Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs is “kinda overrated”.
  • Climate change is just a hoax.
  • The Boks played well in parts against Argentina.
  • Morne Steyn isn’t out of form.
  • Brussouw isn’t “all that”.
  • Zane “the Crazy Train” Kirchner is a better option at fullback than both Gio Aplon and the Lambo.

Ahhh, Heyneke.  Looks like the honeymoon is over.  Can you feel those screws turning yet?

Smokey the Bowler


  1. When is this guy going to get kicked to the curb? We’re not winning any part of the game anymore, his game plan is outdated, he picks rubbish players for positions we have excellent choices for, he has no real game plan in mind except for Morne taking drop goals. KICK THIS GUY TO THE CURB before we become the laughing stock of international rugby!

  2. Too late about being the laughing stock. Did you see our “attempted headbutt” on the weekend? Wow. It was like watching something out of 1991! Do the strategy sessions consist of Heyneke slapping the forwards in the face and shouting “Stuff ’em up, up front!”?

Leave a Reply