TwikiLeaks – the shocking English rugby revelations continue

The revelations from the leaked English rugby report are continuing to shake the English rugby world. Far more disturbing than the original revelations that the English coaching setup was a complete mess going into the World Cup, it has now also been confirmed that the rot runs even deeper.

The latest revelations from the English inquiry have shown that:

  • Moody insisted on wearing white socks when dressed in black suits, despite Martin Johnson severely reprimanding him at a post-match function.
  • Forwards coach John Mills “actually liked the 2nd and 3rd Matrix films better than the first one”.
  • Lewis Moody lost the respect of all his team mates at the first training camp when he asked for a Hunters Gold as his drink at the pub in full view of the entire front row.
  • English Rugby Director Rob Andrews’ “hasn’t really gotten into the Wire”.
  • Martin Johnson was seen reading the Twilight series in the hotel lobby one night after the players had come home early from a night out on the town.
  • The English forwards coach wished to be paid in Smarties and jellybabies rather than in cash.
  • Toby Flood when upon being told by Martin Johnson he was about to put on the field to replace Johnny Wilkinson, asked his coach how much a good performance was worth to him and threatened not to take the field unless Martin Johnson gave him 2,000 pounds in unmarked bills and the entire first season of the Sopranos.  During the later stages of the tournament, Flood’s demands increased to include Bob Dylan bootleg albums and the new Fleet Foxes album.

Smokey the Bowler

One Comment

  1. I can confirm the legitimacy of revelation No.5 as I have personally seen posts by Martin Johnson on the ‘Chicks with Fangs’ forum. Naturally I was only visiting for research purposes.

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