Private Conversations: Dick Muir & Gary Gold

If you keep an eye on International news you’ll know that there’s been a bit of a “skandaal” over in the UK recently regarding some naughty “journalists” hacking into people’s’ phones and recording the conversations. It’s a bold move, sure,  but it’s also an old move. Phone Hacking has been an integral part of our operations at Big Daddy Rugby for a while now and we like to think of ourselves as pioneers in the field.

So, after very little discussion and largely due to the current piss poor state of SA Rugby we’ve decided to get our own back and release some of the transcripts of the many conversations we’ve recorded.
The people have a right to know!

We kick things off with an intimate chat between Gary Gold and Dick Muir on the eve of the Durban Test against the Aussies:

Dick Muir: Hey, what’s up, Golden Child?

Gary Gold: Hey Dickhead, not a lot really, just checking in to see what you’re up to? I’m pretty bored.

DM: Ja, me too. Not much happening here, man. I should be working on my team talk but I can’t really be arsed. Think I’m just gonna say the same thing as always and feed the guys the line about having “pride in the jersey” blah, blah, blah.

GG: Ja, that’ll work. Most of the guys put their headphones on when you speak anyways, so I don’t think it really matters what you say.

DM: Ja, I suppose you’re right, the ungrateful punks. I mean I’m the backline coach, the bloody BACKLINE COACH, and these guys all think that they know better!? Well they can learn the hard way then. Don’t tell Div, but I’ve put a few Rands on the Aussies doing us tomorrow.

GG: Don’t worry about it Dickhead, Div and I did the same thing, nothing too extreme though. There’s no harm in a little wager every now and then is there?

DM: Listen Golden Child, um, do you mind not calling me Dickhead anymore?

GG: What?!

DM: Ja, I don’t know man, it’s kind of a bit rude isn’t it? And it also sort of undermines me in front of the players, you know?

GG: No ways!! The guys love it! I thought you did too?

DM: Nah, not really man.

GG:Agh, ok, I suppose. How about Mr Dickhead then?

Just plain ol' Dick...

DM:umm, no.                        

GG:Little Dickie?  

DM: No, no.

GG: Me ol’ Cocker? 

DM: What?                                     

GG: Cock of the walk?

DM: What?! What are you talking about?

GG: Johnson? Shaft? Woody-Wood Pecker?

DM: Ja, look, I’m not really that keen on any of those names hey. I think just call me Dick. That’ll be fine.

GG: Just plain ol’ Dick?

DM: Ja, just plain ol’ Dick, that’s cool.

GG: Hmm, Ok man, whatever you say. Listen, I gotta bust, Showgirls is about to start and I really don’t want to miss the beginning.

DM: OK, Golden Child, catch you at breakfast tomorrow.

GG: Cool, cheers Dickhead. Oh, sorry….Dick.

Call ended.

silasvoon

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