WikiLeaks reveals how the Lions lost on Friday

WikiLeaks released a tape of John Mitchell’s half-time talk to the Lions on Friday – it explains a lot.  If like me, you were wondering how the Lion’s hosed a lead of 25-17 at the break against the Blues, it goes something like this:

“Right lads.  Good showing, 25-17 up, we can bank that.  There is just no way a Kiwi team is coming back from 8 points down. Believe me, I should know.

I’d say, fair enough, it’s time to rest on our laurels. I know we haven’t won a game yet this season, but it’s safe to say that this one is in the bag.

Elton?  You listening?  It’s going to be a long season, and we don’t need any big injuries.  Take the foot off the gas boys, we’re in for a long ride, no point in spending all our energy once we’ve taken the lead.

Oh… and remember, you don’t need bonus points from penalties. That stuff is for the Stormers.  If you’re less than 3 points behind and are given a shot goal bang in front of the posts, I want you to kick for the corner and set up the rolling maul.  No worries that you’ve been smashed backwards at every tackle. Taking kicks instead of tries is for wussies.

One more thing, damn, I love that we took Dick Muir’s advice and did away with defensive coaching.  As long as we have Strauss’ beard in this squad, there will be no defensive drills.”

It all makes sense now… no other explanation could given how the Lions butchered this one.

Smokey the Bowler

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